Answering Machines
by Inuzukagirl77
Summary: SO if you ever wonder what is on your favorite Naruto character's answering machine? Then this is your kind of story! Read and Review please!
1. Naruto

**AN:Hey Guys this is the start of my new story! Soo plez review and stuff like that and I will reply to your reviews sooo YEAH!!!!!**

**Naruto's answering machine:** "Hey! This is Naruto! Believe it! Sooooo leave a message and I'll get back to you!" (beep!)

**message 1: Tsunade**

Hey kid I need to talk to you so come to my office as soon as possible! (beep!)

**message 2: Sakura**

Naruto you really need to get to Tsunade's office! She's starting to get ticked off and is starting another bottle of sake. Bye! (beep!)

**message 3: Sasuke**

Hey dobe. I really wouldn't be calling you but anyway I'm just calling to say give it up you will never get me back. (beep!)

**message 4: Hinata**

N-naruto h-hi t-this is H-hinata. A-and I'm c-calling to s-say t-that I-I-I-I I Love- (beep!)

**message 5: Itachi**

Come to the Akatsuki we have ramen. and we want to help you with that little fox problem. (beep!)

**message 6: Tobi**

Hey! Hey! Tobi is a good boy and he know how to leave a message! Deidara sempi look I can leave a message! (Deidara in the background: Why should I care un!) ... Tobi is a good boy BYE! (beep!)

**message 7: Sakura**

Naruto you reeeaaallly need to get here soon. She is starting to punch things and you know how she gets. I think she wants to talk to you about a mission! Bye... again (beep!)

**end of messages!**

**An: Hope you guys like the first chapter and if you have any input I'll be happy to take them and if you really what you can chose a character and do there answering machine. Well as I said earlier plez review!**


	2. Sasuke

**A/N:Hey my peeps! Well here is the next chapter and it was written by a friend of mine so enjoy!**

**Sasuke's Answering Machine:**

"I Cant Answer The Phone Right Now Because Im Cutting Myself In The Emo Corner" .

**message 1: Itachi:**

Haha I Made My Foolish Little Brother Emo!!! rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl chokes to death

**Message 2: Ino: **

OMG HEY SASUKE I LOVE U SO MUCH!!! IF YOUR WONDERING HOW I GOT YOUR NUMBER I LIKE SNEAKED INTO YOUR HOUSE AND LIKE OMG IM LEAVING A MESSAGE ON SASUKE'S ANSWERING MACHINE!!! - fan girl screech - oo

**Message 3:**Orochimaru:

CENSORED everything oro had to say to sasuke was to gross... O.o

**A/n Yeah I know it's shrot but hey the next chapter will be really long I promise!!!!!**


	3. Kiba

**A/N: WAY!!!! KIBA-KUNS answering machine... I love him**

**Kiba's Answering Machine:** Sup! This is Kiba! ARF! ARF! And Akamaru. Leave a message if you want. But if you are Shino please DO NOT tell me we have another mission cause I most likely know already. And if you are Kurenai sensei don't ask me if you think that you and Asuma sensei make a cute couple! But if your not those people calling for those reasons leave a message! Thanks (beep!)

**Message 1: Hinata**

Kiba I-I was w-wondering if y-you would ask N-naruto if h-he likes m-me. I will t-thank you a m-million times if y-you do. Thanks. (beep!)

**Message 2: Kurenai**

OK so I'm going to ignore what you just said! SoOoOo Do you think me and Asuma make a cute couple? I mean most people do I was wondering what my student thought. Well call me back with your answer. Bye! (beep!)

**Message 3: Shino**

We have a mission tomorrow. bye. (beep!)

**Message 4: Naruto**

Hey Kiba! I was wondering if you want to spar later on today but if you do, don't bring the gas mask this time because I didn't eat any spicy foods today. Afterwards we can go get some ramen! Well call me back on what you think! bye. (beep!)

**Message 5: Tobi?**

Tobi is a good boy! BYE!!!!! 3 (beep!)

**Message 6: Hana (Kiba's sister)**

Hey little bro just calling to tell you that Akamaru needs to come in for his check up tomorrow before your mission. ok bye! (beep!)

**Message 7: Kurenai **

Kiba! I'm still awaiting an answer so plez call me back! bye again! Oh by the way me and Asuma are having a baby! (beep!)

**END OF MESSAGES!!!!**

**A/N: See this one was longer than the last one! Hoped you liked it cause I had fun writing it. And again if you want to help out you can no one is stopping you and if we already did the character you may add on to their messages ok**


	4. Ino

**A/N: Hey another short one but hey the next one is longer remember that!**

**Ino's Answering Machine: **

Like omg it's ino! Leave a message after the beep and if this is sasuke-kun... I LOVE YOUUUUUU!!!!!!! - beep -

**Sakura: **

Sasuke-Kun IS MINE!!!! YOU B!TH!! SLEEP WITH YOUR EYES OPEN! MUAHAHAHAHAHA -beep-

**Sasuke: **

Um... stop calling me... or I'll kill you! -beep-

**No one else left Ino a message because she is so STUPID and no one likes her!!**

**A/N: Yeah so remember!!!!!! Next chapter is longer!**


	5. Deidara

**A/N: YAY!!! Longer chapter is here!!!!!**

**Deidara's Answering machine: **

Hi this is Deidara. Leave a message but if you are Tobi.. GO DIE!!! and remember "Art is a bang!" (beep!)

**Message 1: Tobi**

Haha good one Deidara sempai!!! I luv you! You are my best frtiend! Call back later k!!!! (beep!)

**Message 2: Art Guy**

Hello, Mr.Deidara. We would like you to come to our art show this weekend. But this time don't blow up the building. Thank you. (beep1)

**Message 3: Tobi**

This is Tobi again!!!!!! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY AND HE LOVES YOU!!!!! (beep!)

**Message 4: Pein**

Deidara I would like you and Tobi to go get some information on Konoha and see how weak their defenses are so that maybe we might have a chance of getting the Kyuubi kid. (beep!)

**Message 5: Tobi**

THIS IS TOBI AGIAN!!! I'm making pancakes!!! and if you want I can make yours explode .BYE (beep!)

**Message 6: Sasori?**

Hey remember me? I'm dead now but I want you to know that I want you to get vingence on the little pink haired girl for killing me. thanks (beep!)

**Message 7: Tobi**

DEIDARA SEMPAI!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SET THE KITCHEN ON FIRE!!!!! HELP!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!! BYE! (beep!)

**END OF MESSAGES!**

**A/N: Ok well hoped you liked it and don't forget to review!**


	6. Neji

**A/N: **okay so here is NEJI'S!!!! I thought It was pretty finny myself... but then again I do laugh at my lame jokes as well. BUT THIS IS NOT LAME!!!!!

**Neji's Answering Machine**:

Hello. It was most likely your destiny to call so leave a message after the beep. Oh and Lee I do not want a rematch. (beep!)

**Message 1: Lee **

NEJI!!!! I challenge you! We will spar tomorrow after noon and I will finally beat you! MEET YOU THERE!!!!! (beep!)

**Message 2:Ten Ten**

Hey Neji. I heard Lee challenged you again. Just wandering if you're going to show up 'cause if you are I was wondering if we could train before the match. And knowing you, you are probably not going to show up so... bye. (beep!)

**Message 3: Lord Hisashi**

Neji. Tomorrow at 5am we train until 11am. That is all. (beep!)

**Message 4: Might Guy**

THIS SOUNDS GREAT!!!! A youthful battle between two youthful students of mine. Aw it's gonna be a youthful fight to remember. YOUTH!!!!!! (beep!)

**Message 5: Tobi**

This is TOBI!!!!!!!!!!!! You might not know me because I'm just calling random numbers! -Deidara in background:"Tobi get off the phone! I have to call someone UN!!!!!"- okay bye. (beep!)

**Message 6: Lee**

DON'T FORGET ABOUT OUR FIGHT!!!! and as the wise guy sensei would say... IT WILL BE YOUTHFUL!!!!!!!!

**End of Messages**

**A/N:** Okay so tell me what you think in a nice little (even though it can be big) review. I will lub you all lots! And again as I have said if you want to add something or someone or have suggestions then let me know!


	7. Tobi

A/N: Hey my peoples! New chapter! Sorry it took so long but with the holidays I've been busy SO I've have Tobi in so many I thought it was time to see what was on his answering machine!! SO here we go!

Tobi's Answering Machine: TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! Oh I just realized what I'm doing! OH DEIDARA SEMPAI WILL BE SO PROUD!!! Well while I go and find him to tell him leave Tobi a loving messsage! Byez (beep!)

Message 1: Kisame

TOBI! GET YOUR STUPID TOYS OUT OF THE BATH TUB!!!! YOU KNOW I DON"T LIKE TO SIT ON TOYS WHEN I HAVE MY MID NIGHT SWIMS!!!! (beep!)

Message 2: Deidara

Tobi did you clean my room again? CAUSE MY CLAY IS NOT THERE AND I KNOW HOW YOU LIKE TO PLAY WITH IT. SO GIVE IT BACK!!!!!!! before you explode the Head Quarters! (beep!)

Message 3: Pein

Mada-imeanTobi I have some questions I need to ask you concerning the Kyuubi. And Tobi I want you to make pancakes in the morning.(beep!)

Message 4: Haiden

TOBI you $#$ I'm gonna #$#$# KILL YOU!!!! You stole my $# weapons you little #$#. (beep!)

Message 5: Zetsu

Tobi I have to talk to you. I think you killed my rare plant and you are going to pay for what you did! (white half of Zetsu) But I still love you. (black side of Zetsu) NO TOBI I HATE YOU!!!! (beep!)

Message 6: Tobi?

HI ME!!! I love talking with you. Your so hansom and smart. I love you Tobi and you are a wonderful person no matter what the others say! BYEZ!!! (beep!)

END OF MESSAGES!!!

A/N: Just so you know during Zetsu's Message I was not being racist he really does have a black and white side I just didn't know what to call them! Anyway plez review and help me out with the next one. It's Sai's and I don't know what to say for them opening so if you want to be a kind person help me out!


	8. Sai

A/N: Sooooo another chapter up! Hope you guys enjoy. And thank you all for all of your reviews!

Sai's Answering Machine: Hello... Leave a message. (beep!)

Message 1: Naruto

SAI!!! WHAT IS WITH THAT NICKNAME!!!! I MEAN LESS!!!! WHAT KIND OF NICK NAME IT THAT!!!!!! I'M GONNA BEAT THE $#& OUT OF YOU!!!!!! DATTEBAYO!!!!! (beep!)

Message 2: Yamoto

Ok Sai so this is how it's gonna go. Next mission do not use your nicknames and try not to tick off Naruto and Sakura they already hate you enough. Bye. (beep!)

Message 3: Sakura

Ok Sai I have two things I need to get straight with you. 1. I HATE THE NICKNAME I MEAN WHO ARE YOU TO CALL ME UGLY!!!!! and 2. Sasuke is not gay!!! he is the farthest thing from it!!! YOU INSULT HIM ONE LAST TIME AND YOU ARE GOING TO FIND YOURSELF 10 FEET UNDERGROUND!!!!!! (beep!)

Message 4: Deidara

Hello. You do not know me but I have herd of you. Since my partner Sasori died I have been stuck with an idiot named Tobi. (Tobi in the background: AWE!!! I love you too Deidara sempai!!!!) So why am I telling you all this? Well I herd you were a fellow artist and I would like to talk to you about art. Don't you think art is a Bang I mean on minute it can be there and then BOOM!! It's gone. Thank you for listening I had to talk to someone that enjoys art. (beep!)

Message 5: Art Guy

Hello. Sai we have seen some of your amazing pieces of art and were wondering if we could sell some. Call us back with your answer. Thank you. (beep!)

Message 6: Ino

Hey Sai so I was thinking that since you think I'm beutiful that we could go out sometime you know like on a date!!!! bye! (beep!)

END OF MESSAGES

A/N: Ok so I hope you guys enjoyed this one and remember to review!!!! (Tobi: and MERRY NEW YEAR!!!!)


	9. Itachi

**A/N: **Thanks everyone for all of your reviews. I've had a lot of people say that they were having a bad day and then reading this lifted their spirits. That means a lot to me guys! So I'm updating faster cause the reviews make me feel like writing the rest!!! So with out further delay here is the next chapter!!!

**Itachi's Answering Machine:**

(Kisame's voice: ok Itachi it's ready to record.) Leave a message after the beep... (Kisame: Is that all at least tell them your name!) Ok this is Itachi Uchiha the murderer of the Uchiha clan. Leave a message after the beep. (Kisame: thats better!) Kisame how do I turn off the recording I can't see the buttons. (Kisame: Oh right.) (beep!)

**Message 1: Tobi**

HAHA!!! Itachi is going blind!!!! Guess you won't see it if I stole you diary!!!! WHICH I DID BYE!!!!(beep!)

**Message 2: Sasuke**

Ha I found your number so now I can track you which means I can find you and KILL YOU for murdering the clan!!!!! I WILL KILL YOU!!!! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!! (beep!)

**Message 3: Kisame**

Testing testing 1, 2, 3! ok I think your answering machine is working so I'll push the button when we get home so you can lstin to this message. Which now that I think of it makes no sense in leaving this message because I'll tell you anyway. Oh well Bye! (beep!)

**Message 4: Sasuke**

I. WILL. KILL. YOOOOOU!!!!!!! (beep!)

**Message 5: Pein**

I'm going to have to put Tobi on your team because Deidara died trying to kill your brother. (beep!)

**Message 6: Sasuke**

KILL KILL KILL!!!!!!!!!!! (beep!)

**Message 7: Itachi fangirl (A.K.A my friend Becca!)**

ITACHI!!!! I love you!!!! And just so you know Tobi gave me your number! (beep!)

**Message 8: Sasuke**

HA I HAVE YOUR LOCATION!!!!! I'M COMING TO GET YOU!!!!

**END OF MESSAGES**

**A/N: **So hope you guys liked that one... I'm bored... I guess I'll go write another chapter!!!! YAY!!!


	10. Shikamaru and Hinata

**A/N: **ANOTHER CHAPTER!!!! It's the tenth chapter sooooo I'll do something special I'll put 2 Answering Machine things in one chapter. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT!!!! (applause!!!) So here they are!

**Shikamaru's Answering Machine: **

To troublesome. (beep!)

**Message 1: Temari**

Hey Shika. I'm coming into the Leaf Village this week and I was wondering if you would be my mentor again. Thanks! Bye (beep!)

**Message 2: Ino**

It is not to troublesome to say something on your own answering machine!!!! You could put something more into it like... oh I don't know. YOUR NAME!!!!! Shikamaru Nara I don't know what we're going to do with you. (beep!)

**Message 3: Kankuro**

Ok you Nara punk! You try anything with my sister and I'll beat you down!!!!! And trust me I WILL KNOW!!! (beep!)

**Message 4: Gaara**

Touch her and I'll kill you. (beep!)

**Message 5: Tsunade**

You have a shift at the academy tomorrow. And don't worry they won't be going to your house to play with the deer this time. (beep!)

**Message 6: Shiakmaru's mom (I forgot her name )**

Shika you forgot your lunch again! I swear you better come back home and get it! I worked hard making that lunch!!! bye sweetie! (beep!)

**END OF MESSAGES**

**Hinata's Answering Machine:**

H-Hi this is H-Hinata. Leave a m-message if you want. T-thank you. (beep!)

**Message 1: Naruto**

Hinata, you need to do something about your sturing problem. Anyway I was calling to see what you wanted when you sent me a message. Well I was just calling you back. Bye (beep!)

**Message 2: Neji**

Hinata your father wants us to meet him in the dojo tomorrow at noon. That is all. (beep!)

**Message 3: Kiba**

Ok Hinata For the last time. If you want to asked Naruto out you do it your self. You need to build convidence in your self. I'll help you if you want but I won't ask for you. Later. (beep!)

**Message 4: Kurenai**

Hinata I need you to baby sit again. Sorry to put that on you but I have another mission. I'd appreciate it. Bye (beep!)

**Message 5: Sakura**

Hey Hinata. I was wondering if you wanted to spar this afternoon and if you do that I'll try to help you get Naruto. Ok bye! (beep!)

**END OF MESSAGES**

**A/N: **SO what do you think! Send me a review and I'll be glad to reply and don't forget that if you have a suggestion tell me. And I'll have it up soon!


	11. Gaara

**A/N: **Ok new chapter! Sorry it took so long to get this one up here. But well I had to go to school and stuff. Soooo Here it is!!

**Garra's Answering Machine:**

(Temari's voice: Come on Gaara say something) ... (Fine if you won't say anything I will!) Ok so hi this is Gaara's answering Machine BUT he is to anti social to say anything so I am. Well you know how to leave a message so do so and if you don't he won't call you back! (Gaara: Temari don't say that.) FINE! He will call you back even if you don't but do leave a message so I can make fun of him for the messages he gets! (beep!)

**Message 1: Medic Ninja from the hospital.**

Um Lord Kazakage last time you were here you left your pants and now some crazy fangirls are trying to take them so plez come get your pants. Bye (beep!)

**Message 2: Kankuro**

Yeah so I need you to get me some puppet strings for my birthday. Yea yea I know my birthday is a ways away but still just so you know. Bye (beep!)

**Message 3: Crazy Fangirl ****Alewey2 ;D)**

GAARA!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!! MARRY ME!!!!! -fangirl screech- BYE I LOVE YOU!!!! (beep!)

**Message 4: Shukaku?**

Gaara...um... GET ME OUT OF THE PLACE!!!! I HATE BEING IN THIS THING WITH ALL THE OTHER DEAMONS AND THEY ARE ANNOYING!!!!! bye. (beep!)

**Message 5: Another Fangirl (Whit!)**

Muhahahaha!!!! Kankuro gave me your number! That was so nice of him. Anyway! I will find my way to Suna and when I do you will be MINE!!!!! YESH!!!! bye (beep!)

**Message 6: Village Elders**

Ok Gaara we need you for an important meeting in about an hour so you better show up this time and not avoid it.

**Message 7: Matsuri**

Gaara sensei I need to know what I can improve on so that I can make you proud of me! Bye. (beep!)

**END OF MESSAGES**

**A/N: **Ok so I hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't forget if you want a character in one of the furture chapters. But I'm sure I'll get to all the characters sooner or later. REVIEW!!!


	12. Temari and Kisame

**A/N: **HOLY SWEET MONKEYS!!!!! SO many reviews it made my head spin! So I guess you guys deserve this I'm going to put two answering machines in one chapter again. Just because you guys are great! DATTEBAYO!!! Oh and if you don't know what Dattebayo means can you really call yourself a Naruto fan?

**Temari's Answering Machine:**

Hey this is Temari. I'm talking for myself on my answering machine. I'm antisocial like some people coughcoughgaaracoughcough. So if you will leave a message after the beep and if you don't then I know I'm not loved. Leave a message! (beep!)

**Message 1: Shikamaru**

Hey Temari. Well I know this might sound like a drag and all but when you come to the leaf village maybe we can hang out more than we really do. I mean if you don't find it all that troublesome. Bye. (beep!)

**Message 2: Kankuro**

Temari I don't want to hear anymore about that Nara kid anymore! YOU HEAR ME NO MORE. I swear it's like you two act like an old couple. (beep!)

**Message 3: Gaara**

Temari can you help me. Some fangirls are attacking me and I don't want to use my sand on them cause you know I'm nicer than that now. So if you can come help... and I'm not antisocial. (beep!)

**Message 4: Tobi**

I'M TOBI!!!! I wrote a song you want to hear it? OK! Here I go... (In the background: BOOM!) Oh well I'll call back I think Deidara sempai is trying to blow up Itachi again... BYEZ!!!! (beep!)

**Message 5: Shikamaru**

Ok Temari what I was trying to do when I called earlier I was trying to ask you out... so um... what do you think? (beep!)

**Message 6: Shika's mom (still don't know her name )**

OH! I think it is sooo cute that you and my little Shika-pooh are a couple. It's so sweet. His father thinks so too even though he won't admit it. Ok well bye! (beep!)

**END OF MESSAGES!**

**Kisame's Answering Machine:**

I am a nice shark not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change my ways I must first change myself. Fish are friends not food. This is Kisame, leave a message!

**Message 1: Tobi**

Ummm Kisame I need your help. Deidara kinda blew up my room... again. Soooo I was wondering if I could room with you and Itachi! It would be so cool! And I'll rent that Jaws movie you like so much and we can watch it over and over again what cha think? (beep!)

**Message 2: Deidara**

KISAME!!! GET THIS THING OFF MY BACK!!!! No I mean seriously Tobi is on my back and he wants me to give him a piggy-back ride again. So um HELP!!! (beep!)

**Message 3: Pein**

Yeah sorry Kisame but I'm not baning Fish Fry Fridays. It's just to popular so you have to keep eating a salad. But think of it this way you will have a good figure. (beep!)

**Message 4: Itachi**

Kisame I kinda need your help I can't see the the front steps so I think I'm going to AHHHHH! Ok never mine I fell... (beep!)

**Message 5: Konan**

Ok Kisame you have cooking duty on Friday soo yeah BYE! (beep!)

**END OF MESSAGES!**

**A/N: **Ok soooo what do you think? Send a review and make my day again in getting like over 15 reviews!!!! Yeah I was listening to a variety of music while writing I was listening to naruto songs, Japanese music, Greeenday, and other things. Well till next time. HOLY SWEET MONKEYS,


	13. Sakura

**A/N: **Okay I am so so so so so sorry that I have not update this story, But I've been busy with my other story _**What Happened? **_And I had a lot to do with that. So I won't keep you waiting any longer. Here is the very very very longly waited chapter of _**Answering Machines.**_

**Sakura's Answering Machine:**

Hey everyone this is Sakura Leave a message. Oh and Lee I won't go out with you and Naruto I don't want to go get ramen. (beep)

**Message 1: Tsunade**

Sakura You are needed at the hospital so as soon as you get this message get down here. (beep)

**Message 2: Naruto**

But why don't you like ramen? It makes the world go round! Cause you see there are all types of ramen to suite everyone, there is miso ramen and beef ramen and (he names all the kinds of ramen) So as you see you might like some/ so please come eat ramen with me! (beep)

**Message 3: Sai**

Hey Ugly, Just calling to say that we have a mission tomorrow. Bye (beep)

**Message 4: Unknown caller**

I will get you and when I do. Oh you are in for a surprise. (beep)

**Message 5: Lee**

SAKURA! Please date me! You are my youthful flower of spring that I can't live without! And gai sensei says go after all things youthful! (beep)

**Message 6: Ino**

Head billboard brow, I heard you have another mission to find Sasuke. Well I'll tell you something if you kiss him before me you are in for a rude awaking! (beep)

**Message 7: Shizune**

Sakura! We need you at the hospital now! Some people went nuts and know are trying to tip over all people in wheelchairs! Hurry up please! (Beep)

**Message 8: Tobi**

Hi! I'm Tobi. I'm calling to say thank you for killing Sasori because of you I was able to join the Akatsuki! (Deidara in background: Don't say such things about Sasori you idiot!) To. bi. Has. to. go. Now. is. Being. Choked. Bye. (beep)

**End of messages**

**A/N:**Well I hope you all enjoyed that chapter! I'll update soon okay!


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